Like many performers – I have to do what I call ‘Survival’ jobs. These are the in between jobs ( Teaching, Temping, Promotional work, Bar work etc) that you take in between the jobs you actually want to do ( Dancing, Acting, and general Theatre etc).
So today I was temping. Temping with a lovely team, in a lovely office for a great cause but as I scan the usual audition sites, when there is a quiet patch, and look up things to do on my holiday later on in the year ( stay tuned for that post ). I find myself faced with decisions to make – No matter how big or small those decisions may seem to someone else these are important to my life as they will/could impact my career, living situation and overall happiness.
26 for me ( recently turned 27 ) was probably one of the best years of my life. Allowing me to achieve some dream jobs – probably my best career year to date, it has shown me love, heartbreak, allowed me to meet amazing new people,blessed me with a great group of friends and family and to travel to some pretty awesome places. And although all of these amazing things have happened, I always focus on the ‘what if’ or the ‘missed encounter/opportunity’. I do believe that positivity attracts positive results and how everything can have a ripple/chain reaction effect leading from one opportunity to the next. As long as you are open, focused and persistent things will start to happen.
So why do I burden myself with the constant need to do everything or achieve my goals right away? This is a big cause of anxiety for me and never allows me to be happy with my current achievements and live in the moment. I fear that through having so many options and choices I have crippled myself to constantly never fully being fulfilled or feel successful.
Is this because we are from the MTV generation where everything is accessible at the touch of a button and how we are told ‘we can be whoever or whatever we want to be’? Is having all of these choices also our undoing ? As by having this never ending array of options we also take on the burden and the fear of ‘will that choice be the wrong one…’
Is it simply my need to overachieve, be successful and basing my successes off of that of someone else ? Or is this something everyone feels in some way or another in this modern day rat race?
Just a thought I am still trying to tackle but just putting it out there..